Are you married? Did you get engaged first? I know a bit about marriage – eighteen years and still going strong may not make me an expert but I think it qualifies me to share a few insights.
What makes a successful marriage? Having a roof over your head? Having enough cash to pay the bills? A couple of nice holidays every year? Actually, no – meeting these basic needs has nothing to do with it. Sure, if these things are missing even the strongest of relationships will feel the strain, but these basic needs do not make a successful marriage.
So what does? In no particular order, here are my top ten tips for marital harmony.
| DO | DON’T |
| Respect each other’s individuality | Become too controlling |
| Allow each other freedom to breath | Smother each other |
| Listen | Shout |
| Treat each other as equals | Try to be superior |
| Support each other | Disrespect or undermine each other |
| Remember you are together by choice | Take each other for granted |
| Have fun together | Take yourself too seriously |
| Support your partner’s goals & aspirations | Ignore each other’s dreams |
| Trust each other | Be dishonest |
| Take personal responsibility | Don’t wait for an apology |
Are you an engaged employee? Are you married to your job? See where I’m going with this?
Not only do the language of employee engagement and the language of love share the same vocab, the list above suggests that the similarities extend beyond mere semantics.
Read it again and tell me which of the above tips does not translate immediately into the relationship between employer and employee.
That’s why pay and benefits don’t register on my employee engagement scale.
Jon Weedon
Corporate Agony Uncle
Riding the ripple 
Comment from uber_enagement via twitter: “@J0N1 after 23 years of wedded bliss I’d endorse your advice. To add another I think both parties need to have clear expectations… of what you expect from each other but be prepared to compromise. And its not about being happy all the time – cant beat a good row (or making up)”. Nice one Sean, I agree 100% – employee engagement is definately not about being happy all the time.
I was always told that in marriage there are three rings:
– Engagement
– Wedding, and
– Suffer
@gidmeister That could account for why you are still bitter, twisted and single 😉